Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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