fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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