I wannas sexs uuuuu
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
