"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
