Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
