New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
