my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
