I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
