I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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