after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
