He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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