using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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