I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
