I like my sex mixed with concussions.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
