i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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