hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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