Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
