I wish my penis had an off switch
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize