After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize