the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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