nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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