Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
