Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
