Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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