If that was your dad, he is hot
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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