Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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