can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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