VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
