dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
