ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think I am morally bankrupt
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
