No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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