my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
