Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
