"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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