Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
