ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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