wat bout pragnant strippers??
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Are we still banned from the library?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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