my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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