just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
