apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
