I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
