I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
