remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
high people should be assigned attendants
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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