she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
