i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize