Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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