remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
All I want is dick and wine.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
