I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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