So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
