He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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