I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
