life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
