Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
