im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i think i just lost a toe
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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