Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
