I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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