the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
