The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just invented taco cereal.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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