I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
