considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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