Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
soo... how was my night?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
