Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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