Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
